LoveWithAMission.com - Januar 2008

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Tuesday, January 8th
I have days sometimes, when I can't think of anything interesting to write about. This isn't one of those days... I think if I decided to write a book about all the stuff that's been going on in my head in the last few weeks, that book would roughly have the same bulk as Gone With The Wind, or War And Peace. Since it wouldn't be good business to publish a book on the web, I'll simply write about one subject that's become important to me. A friend of mine loaned me a book titled A Return To Modesty, by Wendy Shalit. A terrific, and terrifying book. Not for the faint-hearted. This book taught me a lot about men and women, and why things are the way they are, and some of those things I'd like to share with you. I'm going to write two letters; one to all unmarried females, and one to all men. You're welcome to read both.

To: All girls who dream of getting married someday

Dear friend,
Have you ever watched a Jane Austen movie, then sighed, thinking: "I wish I had been born two hundred years earlier"? Me too. Those were the days when men behaved like gentlemen, at least most of them did, and women got to wear beautiful gowns without feeling the least bit silly. These days it seems like most men don't behave very genteel, and any girl that looks too pretty (or too sexy) will get too much attention - but of the wrong kind. I don't know about you, but I hate getting the "elevator-look," where a guy looks you up and down, as if he were bidding on you in an auction. Somehow when a man's looking at you, you can tell whether he's just admiring you, or whether his "admiration" is really lust... (Of course, if you just dropped your umbrella five times within the last three seconds, he might be staring at you for a different reason.) I also don't know how you feel about this, but the idea of going out with one of those guys who looks at you as if he were imagining what you looked like underneath your clothes - ick!
I made up my mind a while ago, that I wouldn't date anyone that I couldn't imagine marrying someday. The man I marry someday has to have a heart for God (a really BIG heart!), and he has to be a gentleman. I used to dream of finding a John-Wayne-type of guy, you know, tall, handsome, deep voice, very manly, but I realize now that I also love him for the way he treats women. Always, in every movie, as long as the girl acts like a lady, he treats her like one. And that's the crucial issue: If we wanna find gentlemen, we need to be ladies.
I think two things are important if you want to be a lady: One is how you behave, the other how you dress. If you curse, make crude jokes, and flirt a lot, that ain't gonna attract the right kind of guy. If you wear extremely tight-fitting clothes, low-cut tops, or short short skirts or shorts, don't be surprised if guys treat you like a hooker, because you look like one. I'm not saying become a saint and dress like a nun. I just try to be careful about what I say, I try not to give guys wrong signals through eye-contact or flirting, and I don't dress with the idea of accentuating certain parts of my body. I'd much prefer Prince Charming to be gazing into my eyes, rather than at my décolleté.
Try to behave like a princess, and I'm pretty sure your knight in shining armor will come along, even though it may take a little longer than you'd like... (When I was fourteen I said I wanted to get married when I was sixteen. At sixteen that changed to eighteen. Then to twenty. Now I think I'll just leave it up to God, though there's still five more months left before I turn twenty-one... ;-)) I think it's better to wait, (and forget the "dead-line"!), because being single is a lot better than being unhappily married. Remember, you're a princess. Don't settle for anything less than a prince.
Trust God. He knows which guy is best suited for you, and He's not distracted by good looks or charm, like we so often are. ;-) God's also your true Prince, the One who loves you more than any man ever could.
God bless you.

To: To every male on this planet

Hi,
In case you didn't already know, women and men are different. (Not just on the outside.) We need, want, and feel different things differently. I'm now going to tell you a big secret that may save you a lot of trouble in the future: When a woman says "it doesn't matter" or "it's no big deal," she is usually lying. That's right, lying. A girl may pretend it doesn't matter whether her husband tells her he loves her or not; she may pretend she's not disappointed when he doesn't notice her new haircut, or her new outfit; she may seem not to care that he never takes her seriously; she may pretend it makes no difference to her that he never does sweet little things for her, like hold open the door or pull out the chair for her; she may even pretend it doesn't hurt her when he criticizes her weight or corrects her in public. She is lying.
Women need and want these little things more than we would ever admit. The thing is, we can't ask for these things. We need you to think of these things by yourself. Don't ask me why, it's like that rule where a man's supposed to be the first one to make a move in a relationship. It's just the way it is. If you care about your darling, if you love her, show her. Tell her. That's one of the things you can't do too much of. And there's nothing wrong with treating every woman like a lady (though maybe you shouldn't tell every woman that you love her...)
"Gentlemen" seem to be almost extinct these days; please prove me wrong... Women want strong men, men who'll fight for noble causes, men who are warriors, and men who are gentlemen. These kind of men will change the world. Please, be a hero.
God bless you, too.

Wednesday, January 16th
I worry. A lot. A whole lot. Mostly about the future and whether I'm doing the right thing(s) now. And I get disappointed when things don't go my way (which happens a lot, too.) For example, I had wanted to move out this summer, but realized (through many, many talks with my parents) that I couldn't afford it, unless I worked a lot more, which would kinda offset the benefit I would have of living near my school and having more time to study, since I'd be spending all that extra time working. I had also planned on just becoming a music teacher, rather than choosing three subjects to teach, but realized that that was just plain lazy. And of course there's the typical problem that almost every girl my age has (and guy, except in reverse,) which is that I would love to be in a relationship. ...but I hate, hate the idea of having a boyfriend just for the sake of having one, and I don't know a whole lot of guys who measure up (I'm picky, which is good - you should be too,) and even fewer who'd also be interested in me, so that ain't gonna happen any time soon either. So, things aren't going the way I'd imagined they would.
A little while ago my mom sent me the link of a clip on YouTube which is just...beautiful. Here it is... (Scroll down for the lyrics.)

Russ Taff - Praise the Lord!

When you're up against a struggle, that shatters all your dreams
And your hopes have been cruelly crushed by Satan's manifested schemes
And you feel the urge within you to submit to earthly fear
Don't let the faith you're standing in seem to disappear

Remember that Satan is a liar and he wants to make us think
That we are paupers, when he knows himself that we are children of the King
So lift up the mighty shield of faith for the battle must be won
We know that Jesus Christ has risen and the work's already done

Praise the Lord, He will work through those who praise Him
Praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise
Praise the Lord, for the chains that seem to bind you
Serve only to remind you, that they drop powerless behind you
When you praise Him

Tuesday, January 22nd
I've been spending a lot of time lately, thinking about the future and what I should be doing in it. The answer is: I don't know. I think what I do sometimes is, I get an idea from God, then I hype it up, add my own ideas, twist it and warp it, until it's so fuzzled it doesn't remotely resemble the idea God gave me in the first place. (I'm weird, I know.) Other times I just have trouble telling the difference between what God's telling me, and what my brain, heart and conscience keep contending for. The conscience is a tricky one, because it can be God's way of speaking to you, but sometimes it can instead have the voice of your father or mother or teacher or aunt Merryweather, who think you should be doing this and this and this, and sometimes that's not what God wants. God hasn't called us to do whatever the world expects of us; He's called us to do His will, whatever that is.
I was at a funeral today. It made me realize something that's actually very obvious, but I hadn't thought of it before: When I'm dead, nobody, absolutely nobody will care whether I had a Masters degree or not. No one will care whether I got many promotions at work or not. No one will care how much money I earned or how many fancy things I owned (except perhaps the people who'll inherit it...) No one will care... Actually, that's not true. Someone will care, and that's God. When I die, He's going to look at my life, and see whether I died living for Him, or living for things of this world.

You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of this world.
Ephesians 5:5

I think the next verses after this one are really interesting, too, because you could say, "But everyone lives like this! Why shouldn't I?"

Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him. Don't participate in the things these people do.
Ephesians 5:6-7 (emphasis added)

I'm not saying that getting a Masters degree is a bad thing. It is wrong though if you're only doing what you're doing because other people expect it. Screw other people's opinions. You've got one life, don't waste it doing what people expect of you.

"If you want to be my follower you must love me more than your own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters - yes, more than your own live. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:26

In another translation that same verse even says:

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple."
Luke 14:26 (NASB, emphasis added)

Ok, just for the record, this doesn't mean you should be rude or disrespectful or mean to any of your family members or friends. What it means is that if God's telling you to do one thing, and other people are telling you to do something else, do what God says. Even if it hurts.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of live and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:19

And one of my all-time favorite verses:

Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.
Ephesians 3:20

Thursday, January 31st
I want my life to be more fun. I want to have more adventures. I want more excitement. These are wonderful things to want, but sadly there's no magic button you can push to make these things just happen... Or is there?! There is!! It's YOU! I am my own magic button. If I want something to happen, I have to do it. The only things that happen automatically are the things we don't really like, such as aging or getting the tax declaration paperwork every year...
So, I resolve right now to have more adventures. And I'm gonna toss the "plans"... (I love making plans, but I really stink at sticking to them...) I'm not 100% sure, what it is that God wants me to do, but I am fairly certain that it doesn't involve having a bored, lazy, drab lifestyle. If we keep asking God, I'll bet we'll end up having our life turned up-side down through life-altering experiences. And in the meantime we ought to do the most with the time we have now...

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,
so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:10
P.S. If you're too tired to go on any adventures right now, here's my perhaps favorite cartoon to brighten up your day... :-)

Merrie Melodies - Feed the Kitty

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