LoveWithAMission.com - October 2007


	In loving memory of Naomi Dahinden... 14. May 2007 - 16. October 2007 Monday, October 1st I really have a horrible life. I don't earn a lot of money, one of my teachers talks too softly, I can't afford a leather jacket, I have to spend hours reading boring stuff for school, I don't have a John-Wayne-look-a-like husband with the charm of Antonio Banderas, my hair won't grow a metre long when I tell it to, I can't pass French if I fall asleep during class, I don't own a villa, people don't bow when they pass me on the streets, ... I bet I can just hear you saying Awww...you poor thing! Ok, back to reality. It's amazing how sometimes I can really just 'catch' myself complaining... Of course I already know I'm complaining, I mean, I'm aware of the fact that my mouth is uttering sentences, but sometimes I still need a wake-up call to realize what I'm doing... The truth is I am actually overwhelmingly blessed... Even all these things I just "complained" about at the beginning are blessings... I may not earn a lot of money compared to Swiss standards, but go to Cambodia and you'll find that I can actually earn more money in a day than most people there do in a month. I don't particularly like going to school, but school is actually a blessing, too (as unbelievable as it sounds...) It's a blessing that I can chose what I want to do with my life, that I can chose where I want to go to school to, that I don't have to bribe the teachers just to get passing grades like they do in some countries, that it's close to my home is a blessing, too. And as for marriage? Me? Now? Big no-no. If I could just snap my fingers and my hair would be long, well, that would be nice, but it wouldn't teach me anything about patience or accepting the consequences of my actions (every 'snip' of the scissors makes it take a lil longer...) Etc. There's a cute song that Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney sing in White Christmas that describes a much better way to handle life's "hardships"... COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS (by Irving Berlin) When I'm worried and I can't sleep I count my blessings instead of sheep And I fall asleep counting my blessings When my bankroll is getting small I think of when I had none at all And I fall asleep counting my blessings I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds If you're worried and you can't sleep Just count your blessings instead of sheep And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings Do you want to live a life that is long and good? Then watch your tongue! Keep your lips from telling lies! Psalm 34:12-13 Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will never lack any good thing. Psalm 34:10 Let the Lord's people show him reverence, for those who honor him will have all they need. Psalm 34:9 Monday, October 8th Wow, these last few days have been...busy. In one morning I made a choice that will most likely change the entire course of my life. Let me tell you about it... On Thursday morning, at about 8.30am, I was sitting in class, preparing myself to, eventually, become a kindergarten and/or primary school teacher. I wasn't really paying too much attention since I was very tired (because stupidly I stayed up rather late the night before, just like I'm doing now...), but luckily the teacher has a rather special gift where it's easy to pay attention without a huge effort. He was asking us about which teachers we remembered that we liked, and what kind of things were important in order for kids to have a "good" lesson (in their point of view.) It pretty much all comes down to the teacher... Is he/she interested in what he/she is teaching? Or is he/she bored out of his/her mind him-/herself? And suddenly I realized: If I have to teach a subject like French (which I don't and never have liked very much), I am going to do a lousy job... The same goes for geography, German, and most areas of math and history... (Which would all be subjects I would have to teach as a primary school teacher...) Over the next two hours or so I realized that what I was doing was not at all what I actually wanted to be doing... It was just a "means to an end," something I figured would be a logical thing to do if I wanted to work with kids in Russia someday. So, I started to think about what I would like to do, and the first thing that came in to my head was music. Since the 7th grade I have loved and adored music in school. What I can remember of music in primary school was awful... Maybe it was because I thought I wasn't any good and also didn't try very hard. 7th grade was different. We had a young, good-looking teacher who obviously loved his job. I learned that music could be fun! And that all those strange little dots and lines actually made sense!! The music teacher I had here at this school had it figured out pretty well. He said that music teachers were perhaps the ones who poured the most "Herzensblut" into their subject, which literally means "blood of the heart"... Anyway, enough of that. The point is that music would be a subject that I think I would truly enjoy teaching. All of this was figured out within a couple of hours. The next few hours (though they weren't really just a "few"...) were spent talking to the head of the school, filling out paperwork, making phone calls (or at least trying to...), hiking all over town trying to find the right places, and, eventually, changing schools. I am now no longer at the school for pre-primary and primary education, but studying to become a secondary level 1 teacher (that's 7th to 9th grade) in music, and maybe also English. Ok, that was all the easy part... I decided a while ago that I wanted to live my life for God, that means, among many other things, doing whatever He wants me to do. But actually finding out what He wants me to do can sometimes be rather complicated... Believe me, it's been a while since I prayed as much as I did last Thursday... One thing you need to know about me: I am not good at making decisions. Usually I either make up my mind on a whim without thinking at all, or I spend ages and ages debating about what I should do. In this case I didn't have time to think it over in my mind for very long, but I also didn't want to just do it without being sure that it was really God's will, so all the thinking that I would normally have done over a period of several weeks was crammed into about ten minutes, and on top of that I was trying to pray non-stop, the combination of which made me rather hyper-active and absolutely terrified. Nonetheless I kept going, and by the time I was on my way to my new school I was very excited and praising God. ...then I got lost because I didn't exactly know where I was going, and the enthusiasm slowly started seeping out of me... Then I found it! ...and felt like I'd drifted from heaven straight into hell... The school I'd just come from is, in my opinion, lovely. It has grass and trees all around it and is kept fairly clean and in good condition. This new place I'd just come to looked grey, unfriendly, and just plain ugly... Needless to say that the enthusiasm from before had now completely left and instead left behind a big hole full of uncertainty and fear. (And not being able to find the room where the office was didn't help at all...) I sat down on a bench and tried to pray. I called my dad who didn't discourage me, but who wasn't a huge encouragment either. He told me to call my mom (who was in Israel at the time) since she would probably know better because she's a teacher herself (I tried but I couldn't reach her) and to just go for a walk and pray about it. I did go for a walk and eventually landed on a step at the side of an old church. I prayed and did feel a certain peace about it, but at the same time just overwhelmed with uncertainty. Just then my mom returned my call. I told her about what I was planning to do, and she thought it was great!! She told me she'd never felt a peace about the primary school thing, but this just felt right. Right then my fatigue and my emotions won out and I started crying... God is so good! He knew exactly when I needed that encouragment and I haven't for one second regretted my decision since. I've been asking God for a long time to tell me what His will is for my life, and I don't know why exactly He waited until now with this. Maybe He did try to tell me but I just wouldn't listen. Maybe I never would have even considered this possibility if I hadn't first gone through certain steps, such as deciding to become a teacher, or deciding to work with kids, etc. Or maybe it was something that God wanted me to figure out for myself. I don't know. But now I am certain that this is truly God's will, and I've gained a whole new measure of trust in Him. I know now that He really always will tell me what I need to know at the time I need to know it. I was so foolish and ignorant - I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you are holding my right hand. You will keep on guiding me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:22-26 Tuesday, October 16th I really need to work on my punctuality... Ahem, anyway... I'm happy to say that I love the new school that I'm at. I still think the outside is rather ugly, but the inside is more welcoming and the people are friendly. ("Don't judge a book by its cover"..."beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"..."it's the inside that counts"... ;-)) God's been teaching me a lot lately about simply being content. There are so many things I would like to do someday, and sometimes I get impatient and think they have to happen as soon as possible. An example for me would be that I'd like to find my own appartment. In fact for some reason this had become so important to me that I'd spent hours (really, hours...) searching the web, trying to find the best offer for the lowest price. I practically became obsessed by it. I thought this was something I needed, NOW. But very often God's timing is different than ours... I'd kinda left God out of it, until one day I just sent a little prayer up to heaven, asking God what He thought about me moving out. All of a sudden I started noticing little passages in the book that I was reading, and in my Bible, and my mom pointed it out to me... Even the sermon on Sunday was about Philippians 4, where it says in verse 12: I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. That was a wake-up call. My living standards definitely tend to be more on the "everything" side, the "full stomach" and "plenty" side. And here I am whining about something that I don't need at all, but seem to think I can't live without. What a spoiled little brat I am sometimes... Another thing that God has been showing me is that, no matter what situation I am in, God needs to come first. Even if that means cutting back on work, not studying quite as much or even not getting quite enough sleep, whatever it means or may take, God needs to come first. Otherwise life's not even worth living in the first place... For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. Philippians 4:13 Monday, October 22nd Today was little Naomi's funeral, daughter of Fabian and Sulamith Dahinden. Sadly I only have one memory of her... It was the 9th of June and our youth group was having a sort of party. It was the day after her parents finally got to take her home from the hospital, and they took her with them to the party. I'm usually a bit afraid of holding babies (I'm afraid I'll drop them or they'll start to cry...), but I got to hold her for a while. She was so precious... If you touched her lips a little bit she would pucker them as if she were Sleeping Beauty waiting for her true-love's first kiss. She didn't cry or complain at all, she just looked around or slept, seeming to be content wherever she was. This is amazing not only because generally babies tend to cry a lot, but also because she's had a lot tougher time than I imagine most babies do, having one operation after the other, and having to be rushed to the hospital every so often because something was wrong. One the other hand I'm not sure it would be possible for a child to be loved more by her parents than she was... I believe that God loves us more than we could ever possibly love each other, so how incredibly vast must God's love for this precious little girl be! Maybe He simply loved her so much that He couldn't wait to take her home with Him... You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! Psalm 139:15-18a Her funeral was today. It was sad, but beautiful too... I am so thankful for the hope that God gives us. Before Naomi died, Sulamith and Fabian gave her to the Lord, praying "may Your will be done..." Now they can trust God that their little girl is with Him, and that they will see her again, someday. The funeral was very sad, but also full of hope. We don't always understand what God does, but we can put our trust in Him, because everything He does is for the best... For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 Tuesday, October 30th I still haven't quite mastered the art of punctuality, but there's hope! God can do miracles after all... ;-) I've become aware of a bad development. I have been spending less and less time with God, and have become increasingly grumpier and short-tempered. (That it's a certain time of month right now doesn't help either...) There's a song called In The Light by dcTalk that describes how I feel very well... Tell me, what's going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior This only serves to confirm my suspicions That I'm still a man in need of a savior (That's only part of the song of course...) I guess it's not enough just to accept Christ and become a Christian. It's not even enough to spend five months abroad doing a discipleship training school learning about God. It takes much, much more. In fact it takes everything you have... Since you have heard all about him and have learned the truth that is in Jesus, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness – righteous, holy, and true. Ephesians 4:21-24 The only way that will happen is if I spend time with Him. I can't change on my own. I know this for certain, I've tried... This may sound strange, but I miss Him... I miss spending time with Him, I miss just hearing His voice, I miss talking to Him out loud without feeling akward... I usually make the excuse that I don't have time. Time... Nobody has time. We're all busy. We're either at work, or at school, or doing this or that, or that, or that... "LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away." Psalm 39:4 I honestly and firmly believe that there's nothing as precious or as valuable as spending time with God. There's is no other possible employment that could even measure up to it. In comparison, nothing else matters. God should have first priority. ...yet then why is it that school and work, and even my own amusement, always seem to come first?! What a fool I am... Another reason for right living is that you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for the coming of our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. Romans 13:11 (emphasis added) Sometimes, when we're busy, we have to make time... God is more important than your job, and He's more important than school, and He's more important than all your hobbies put together. He's even more important than your family and friends. Sometimes I feel ashamed when I try to pray. I feel like I don't have the right to because I've been ignoring Him for so long. ...I believe there's nothing wrong with feeling ashamed, in fact I'd consider it wrong not to feel ashamed, but it shouldn't hold us back from running right back into His outstretched arms... "For the LORD your God is gracious and merciful. If you return to him, he will not continue to turn his face from you." 2 Chronicles 30:9b