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Precious Book... - Monday, July 2nd
Yesterday I finished reading a book (yes, I know I read a lot...) called Beyond The Sacred Page by Jack Cavanaugh. It's about the "Tyndale Translation." In the 16th century, around the time that Martin Luther, a former monk, was the head of the reformation in Germany, rebelling against the Katholic church, something similar was happening in England. While Luther was busy translating the Bible into German, William Tyndale was hard at work bringing an English version to the people in England. It was against the law then to translate any part of the Bible from the original Hebrew, Greek and Latin. Anyone found smuggling an English version of the New Testament into England or even just possessing one was executed, often burned at the stake. This was less than five hundred years ago... The people who did have the courage to read the Bible in their own language were spellbound, captivated. Being able to read it in their own language meant so much, more than we could understand. The Bible was something so precious, many risked or even lost their lives for it.
Things have changed a little... I discovered that I have seven different Bibles, eight including one that only holds the New Testament and Psalms. Eight! Four in English and four in German. And that's not including the ones my parents have... And most of them have just been sitting in the bookshelf gathering dust... I had all these Bibles, in seven different translations (the New Living Translation I have in both English and German because it's my favorite) and I didn't even understand what a privilege it was to own even just one.
Just imagine, less than two thousand years ago there was no Bible! At least not as we know it now. And people were being persecuted everywhere for their faith, even more than the brave translators in the 16th century. And yet I think Christianity then was more alive than it is now. That's not quite fair, there are places in the world where Christianity is very much alive, in general though it's in countries where we are persecuted. But why?? Is it because in those places people know what a risk they're taking by accepting Jesus, so they make sure first that it's really what they want? Is it because here there's no danger in being a Christian, so we might just as well become Christians so we won't go to hell when we die? Is it simply because we need something to be a challenge before we have any passion for it? Maybe it's because here it's so easy just to forget... It's so easy here to become lazy, to forget about hell (many people don't even believe in hell any more), to forget about God, to get caught up in our work, our hobbies, our "life" (...in what we think is life anyway - life without God isn't life at all...) In countries like China you can't hardly forget; the people persecuting you won't let you.
Have we forgotten how precious the Word of God is? Have we forgotten how great God's love is, and how much we need it? Don't we notice how meaningless our lives become when we push God aside?
My Bibles are no longer getting dusty on the shelf, they're waiting to be read, compared and studied. And if I do find that one of them is getting dusty, I'll give it away. These books are much too precious not to be read...

2. Timothy 4:2-5

Accountability - Wednesday, July 4th
"Accountability" - not something bad, but not something altogether pleasent either. Wikipedia describes it like this:

Accountability is a concept in ethics with several meanings. It is often used synonymously with such concepts as answerability, enforcement, responsibility, blameworthiness, liability and other terms associated with the expectation of account-giving.

It's a good thing when Christians keep each other accountable, for instance if someone realizes they haven't been reading their Bible much, they can ask another person to "keep them accountable," for instance by asking every few days how much they'd read in their Bible. That can be very helpful, but we also need to keep ourselves accountable. For instance if we say we're gonna do something, we should do it. That sounds simple enough, but oh, how many times have we found excuses for not reading our Bible, for not spending time with God, for not sharing our faith with others, etc. I haven't been doing too good myself... For example, on this website I've made a whole lot of promises and commitments, and a lot of them I haven't kept... Let's just look at last month: I wanted to find an accountability partner (...), become a member of my church, spend more time with God, read and study the Bible more, spend more time doing worship on my own, share the gospel, start learning Russian, ask God to take me on (an) adventure(s), not have to wear make-up, I wanted to "pursue God with all my heart and soul," consistently work on writing a story, rewrite my song, ... I haven't actually done a single one of these things... So, I'm gonna give myself one month in which, with God's help, I want to accomplish or at least start working on these things, like I said I would. I'll let you know then how it's going. I don't want to be someone who says one thing, then does another. If I do then I'm just a lazy liar.
By the way, I finished another book very, very early this morning called Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Yes, it's a romance story... It's a re-telling of the book of Hosea, where God tells him to marry a prostitute. It's a really, really good book, but in some parts almost depressing. (It's not a typical happy romantic novel.) And I started wondering what the point was of me reading it, but then I remembered something... Some day I want to go to Russia to work with unwanted children, first and foremost with child prostitutes, as well as grown up ones. And here this book was explaining to me how so many of them got caught up in that hideous business, what most of them must feel like, the hopelessness, the hatred, the bitterness, the anger, and the sadness. I was also reminded of the fact that the only difference between me and these women is circumstance. I'm not any better than them. I may never have had sex before, but I've never been in any situation where I was tempted, and I was certainly never in a situation where someone forced me to do anything I didn't want to (which is all thanks to God's grace, not my own intelligence or goodness or...anything.) So many of them are forced into it, sold by their parents, abandoned and not able to find anything else, some are even kidnapped...
If anyone is thinking "well, this isn't any of my business," you're quite wrong... God may not have called you to reach out to them, but we all have a responsibility, even if it's simply praying. In James 1:27 it says

Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us.

(To "refuse to let the world corrupt us" also means we shouldn't become indifferent... If the awful situation our world is in doesn't shock us anymore, if we simply don't care anymore for all the people who aren't as well off as we are, there is something seriously wrong...)

James 2:12-13

Friday, July 6th

Philippians 3:7-10: But all these things that I once thought very worthwhile - now I've thrown them all away so that I can put my trust and hope in Christ alone. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have put aside all else, counting it worth less than nothing, in order that I can have Christ, and become one with him, no longer counting on being saved by being good enough or by obeying God's laws, but by trusting Christ to save me; for God's way of making us right with himself depends on faith - counting on Christ alone. Now I have given up everything else - I have found it to be the only way to really know Christ and to experience the mighty power that brought him back to life again, and to find out what it means to suffer and to die with him. (The Living Bible, paraphrased by Kenneth Taylor)

Galatians 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (NKJV)

Galatians 5:24-25: Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. (NLT)

Ephesians 4:22-32: Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything - and I do mean everything - connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life - a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you. What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry - but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Did you used to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can't work. Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don't take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. (The Message)

Ephesians 5:8-10: For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. (NLT)

Serenity - Sunday, July 8th
You know how there are some people who just get under your skin and annoy the heck out of you? That person for me at the moment is me, myself and I. For the last month I've been sitting at home, doing nothing, bored out of my mind, alternatingly feeling like my head was about to explode or going to shrivel up like a raisin. When I came back home I was so full of ideas of how I wanted to change the world, or at least the area where I live, but when I realized that these ideas were either not do-able or would take a very big effort and a lot more courage than I possessed, all my enthusiasm deflated like a flat tire. That's what happens when you decide you want to turn the world upside down by your own strength, then reality kicks in. Eventually it became too much. I was annoyed at myself for my laziness and apathy and my plain stupidity, and eventually my annoyance at myself got to be annoying, 'til at one point even my annoyance at my annoyance at myself was annoying... If that had gone on like that, eventually I would have reached the zenith of annoyance where I undoubtedly would have gone insane. Add to that a couple of other things that happened that made me rather upset, as well as a severe case of self-pity and a bad habit called self-indulgency, all of which annoyed me as well, which annoyed me as well, which annoyed me as well... Yes, I'm pathetic. I know.
I guess everyone at some point realizes that they are not content with their life. I don't believe any person is. But what I've come to realize is that we make our own lives. ...ok, this isn't 100% true. It's not true because circumstances shape our lives; whether we're born in Switzerland or in Afghanistan, whether we grow up in a large family or as an orphan, whether we have green or brown eyes... Some things we can't change, they just are the way they are. On the other hand, we do make our own lives, because it's our choice how we respond to our circumstances. When something bad happens we can chose to hide in fear or to make the best of it. When we're disappointed we can chose to become depressed or to move on.
There's a prayer that a theologian named Reinhold Niebuhr wrote titled the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

That sums it up pretty well. I can't change other people; I can change myself. I can't change the past; I can affect the future.
There's even a way to make all of this a lot easier... In church today a woman named Esther had a picture of an alphorn. (If you don't know what that is, click here.) She said that we're meant to be the alphorn (figuratively of course), but that some of us were trying to be the person blowing into it instead. We want to force things to happen, we want to make change come, when all we really need to do is to be ourselves and let God use us. He's the only one who can affect change in the areas where we need "to accept the things we cannot change." For example if we want a revival in our church, we can't make it happen. Striving on our own strength won't work. All we need to do is to be available, and to let God use us in His own way. And for me that took off a big load, knowing that while I do want God to use me in big ways, it's not up to me. I don't need to force anything. I don't need to worry about anything. I don't need to get emotional over anything. God will take care of everything. Just be available.

Psalm 63:1

My desire - Tuesday, July 10th
This is my desire: to honor You
Lord with all my heart I worship You
With all I have within me I give You praise
All that I adore is in You
Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have Your way in me

Beautiful song, ain't it? But what does it actually mean, literally? It's nice to sing "I live for You alone," but what does that mean practically? I think most people know they should be doing more for their spiritual life, that they should read their Bible more, pray more, change more... I've decided I want to make a list of things that I want to do daily. Having a bad conscience over not spending enough time with God (and what's "enough" anyway?) doesn't really help, not unless it spurs you on to change. And I want change. I want to experience God in my everyday life. I want to know Him more and more intimately. I want to continuously change to become more and more like Him. And the only way this is every really going to happen is if I make Him the 1# priority in my life. Now how does that look like...

- First thing in the morning, spend time reading, studying and memorizing the Bible
- Also when I wake up, spend time talking to God, telling Him my fears and worries about the day, and asking Him to help me through it
- After lunch, spend a few minutes with God
- In the evening, take time for worship, singing praises
- Also take time for intercession, asking Him for His heart
- Before going to bed, go over the verses I learned by heart in the morning
- Then take time to read the Bible some more

These are things I want to do daily. I'm not saying everyone should do it this way, but I do think it is important to make time for all these things every day:

Read, study, and memorize the Bible. That last part sometimes worries me a little, it seems too hard. But really, just think about all the songs you know by heart. I know quite a few... (The one written above I wrote down by heart.) Or think about all the lines from movies that you know by heart! Memorizing things isn't that hard, it just takes time.
Spend time with God. But please, please, not like this: I want ..., and ..., and ..., and please do ..., and ..., and ..., and bless ..., and ..., and ... That's like reading a grocery list. He's your Daddy, your Friend, your Lover, not your computer. And remember to give Him time to talk, too. In general, people have a tendency to talk too much and listen too little...
Worship. Remember that it's not really nice if you sing "whether I live, whether I die, it's for Christ" and then a couple of hours later complain that someone looked at your WWJD band a little funny. Mean what you say. And while you're singing, don't think about what you're gonna cook for dinner...

There's more. Some things you don't do every day, but they should still be a part of every Christians life. Here's what I want to do:

- Help in Sunday School at my church and in the worship team of our youth group
- Have someone hold me accountable in the areas of my life where I'm struggling
- Fellowship with other Christians in my house group and my youth group
- Spread the gospel in my work place, in school, my neighborhood, etc.
- Read books besides the Bible to help me grow in my faith

Be apart of your church. Become a member. Be actively involved, even if it's simply cleaning the bathrooms. (Just imagine if no one did that...) Don't just sit on the side-lines and watch. And make friends. Get to know the people and spend time with them.
Let someone hold you accountable. Preferably someone who's the same gender, and someone who doesn't struggle with the same issues as you. For example if you struggle with internet pornography, don't go to someone who struggles with that as well. All you'll probably get is sympathy, and that doesn't help. Find someone who's a strong Christian, someone with experience, someone who'll be able to give you good advice. Something that's also very important: Find someone who won't be afraid to tell you the truth. Someone who only tries to make you feel better and talk you into believing that what you did isn't so bad won't help you.
Evangelize. One of my greatest weaknesses and my greatest passion. Something that gets overlooked too often and pushed to the side. Something dreadfully important! If your friends, family members and collegues don't get to know Jesus, they'll go to hell. What else is there to say?
Read books, take classes, attend Bible study. The best thing I've ever done in my life was to take a five month time-out and do a Discipleship Training School (DTS) from Youth With A Mission (YWAM). And the next big thing I'm looking forward to doing in a few years is a School of Biblical Studies (SBS), also from YWAM. While the best thing you can do is read the Bible, sometimes the Bible is hard to understand. It helps to read books about different areas of Christianity, such as prayer, evangelizing, marriage, life after death, etc., or to do a school like the DTS or SBS, or even to just go to a Bible study where you'll be able to discuss specific passages in the Bible.

By the way, I'm going to be gone from the 11th to the 29th of July. Me and my mom are going to Texas, and during that time I won't update this site. You'll hear from me again on the 30th of July.
God bless you!

P.S. The song's by Reuben Morgan.

Ephesians 4:1

Mystery solved - Tuesday, July 31st
Last night I stayed up all night watching movies. (That's the reason I didn't find time to write yesterday like I said I would. If it bothers anyone, I'm sorry.) I hardly slept at all during the day. I figured that if I managed to stay up until bedtime I would definitely be over jet-lag. I don't know if it'll work. Right now a little bug by my window keeps distracting me, I think I'm slightly hyper and I'm not quite sure what I'm writing about. I guess I'll just write about what's on my mind. If you've read through the lines of the things I've written in the last couple of months you might have noticed that I've been feeling ever so slightly not content. Booger - actually, at times I felt so miserable I thought I was going insane. And I think last week I discovered that there was one simple little reason for this. I didn't even realize it. I wasn't living with God. I wasn't living with God. I thought I was, but I wasn't. And after being a part of YWAM, after seeing God do incredible stuff in my own life as well as in others, after all that, being home again and slipping back into my former life was simply: not enough. My life hasn't been bad, but it's nothing compared to what I know God can do if I only let Him. But frankly I'm apprehensive, and maybe even a little scared. See, my little brain can't figure out any possible scenario that would make my life here seem better than it was in those five months with YWAM. I can't come up with any exciting ideas of adventures and things to do that are good enough. I can't. Everything I come up with is simply not enough. And that's where the problem is. I've put my faith in myself. I trusted myself to figure out how best to lead my life to the fullest. But the wildest, most exciting, adventureous, interesting plan I come up with by myself will never be enough. I need to put my faith in God, because it is a fact that everytime you put your faith in God, He by far exceeds your expectations. If you don't believe me, open your Bible. I want to live a life that by far exceeds my own expectations. (And believe me, they are high.) But I need faith. Faith that no matter what happens, if I suffer, get frightened, get challenged, am stretched, no matter what, that "the Lord your God will go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

He will never forsake you!

If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
Psalm 139:8-10

God has an astounding, exciting, scary plan for your life that will completely and utterly fulfill you. Do you have faith?

2. Timothy 2:4-5

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