LoveWithAMission.com - August 2006

Click here to go back | Klicke hier um zurückzugehen

16 August
As you might know I work at McDonalds. They are quite strict about starting work ontime and unless you're told to start early you wait until the exact minute that you're supposed to start. Today I was about a quarter of an hour too early so I waited in the staircase where I wasn't in anyone's way. There I saw a fly. I can just hear you thinking big deal, but actually it is! Have you ever thought about how unbelievably complicated a fly really is? Even just the eyes, they see much more and much faster than we can, then their wings that are made exactly the way they need them, their "feet" that enable them to walk on windows, ceilings, walls, etc., and yet they are so small! Then I saw a cart that we use to push large amounts of things around and it was partly made of wood, and I saw the lines in the wood and I remembered that God made those lines! He had also given some person the imagination and the ability to build that cart! Then I looked at the stairs and realized that God was there when they were being made! And he loves each and every single person who helped build those stairs and that building! I could go on and on, but what I actually want to show you with all these examples is this: God has an endless imagination, God can (and does) do everything and God is everywhere! And he loves YOU! :-)

17 August
Did you know it's absolutely useless to lose your temper? I have this agreement with my mother that I clean the bathrooms and dust and vacuum our apartment by Saturday. Well, today I only had to work a few hours over lunch-time, so I basically had the whole afternoon off. Soooooo my mom had this great idea that I could already do the cleaning today and get it over with! If you know me, well, you'll know that I didn't think this was such a great idea... I complained that I was tired and that I had 'til Saturday to do it. She said ok and walked away with that disappointed look that mothers wear to make you feel guilty, which it did, and which I didn't like, so I told her off for that look and I got a bit loud and rude, and in the end it was decided that I should do the cleaning by Friday instead of Saturday. So, that proves that not losing your temper is better since now I have one day less to put my duties off. And it's also good to listen to your mother because if I had the cleaning would already be done now. ;-)

(P.S. My mother told me that she didn't give me that "look" to make me feel guilty on purpose, but that it was just the way she felt. Sorry mom!)

18 August
Today I wanted to pray "Lord, I want to get to know You better...", but instead of You I said me... I was tired and not very concentrated, but my little vocal typo made me think. Am I more important to myself than God? He then gave me a picture in my mind of a little child in a play pen, and someone was lifting it out, but the child held on to the bars, screaming. It didn't want to leave it's "cage". Then I laid down on my bed, facing my "movieshelf". (On that shelf we have all of the movies that either belong to me or that we don't like to loan out to other people.) And God asked me: "Are you willing to give them up?" My, I haven't struggled like that in a long time! Then I realized that those movies were a part of my own "cage". I want to comit my life to Jesus and let Him have control over my life, but there are many things that I own that I would have a lot of trouble giving up. Things I don't need, like movies, books, CDs, my stuffed animals, etc. Those things seem unimportant, which they are, but just wait until God asks you to get rid of your entire furniture set and see how attached you are to them! It's difficult to let go of things, but sometimes we have to, because if we can't let go of them we have a serious problem. If God tells us to let go of something we hold dear, and we can't do it, it means something has a stronger hold in our life than God. So, I didn't get rid of all the movies, but I did go through them all and sort out the ones that aren't "clean", the ones that make you start to think that somethings, like sex outside of marriage, are ok. I also sorted through my clothes and got rid of a bunch I don't need, as well as about seven purses... If God wants me to get rid of more things He will tell me, but sometimes it's ok to do something one small step at a time. ;-)

19 August
Yesterday I wrote about that picture I saw in my mind of a child clinging to it's play pen. There was more though. I then saw that when the child stopped crying and let go of the play pen, the father could carry it around. The possibilities of what it could do were much greater if it let itself be carried around by it's father than when it clung to it's play pen, which could also be described as a cage. Well, I am slowly letting go of the cage, one little finger at a time. Today I continued getting rid of things. I went through my boooks, my stuffed animals (I have a lot of them!), my CDs, the junk that was littered on my desk. It was really hard to let go of some things, but strangely enough when I had decided to give something away I felt much lighter, as if a load had been taken off. I still have a few fingers to go, but maybe soon I'll be free of my "cage" and God will be able to carry me to new places. :-)

20/21 August
Whew! I've (finally) gone through all of my stuff and sorted everything out that fell into at least one of these criteria: Not clean (glorifying sex and/or violence), not needed, not wanted and junk. Now everything in my room actually has a reason for being in my room. Now I know that if God ever tells me to get rid of something, even something I'm really attached to, I can. Getting rid of movies was maybe the most difficult part since almost every movie that's made these days has something not good in it. It's really ashame actually, because apart from those, mostly small scenes, the movies would be great. But God calls Christians to have a higher standard than other people, so we can't start thinking those little scenes are ok, that we can accept them just because they're short, don't "show" anything or because everyone else says it's ok. The latter is the most dangerous. One of the devil's sneakier tricks is to gradually make us used to something, until we think it's normal. Let me tell you, it's not! God says that sex belongs inside a marriage, nowhere else. It doesn't matter if everyone else doesn't wait, if people think it's absolutely normal to try out someone before they decide if they're right. It's still a sin. And God says that even thinking about doing something like that is a sin, so movies, music, books, etc. that treat sex outside of marriage as something normal can't be good. It was hard sorting through all of my stuff, but I'm so glad I did! Now I don't have to feel bad about owning anything that's in my room. Thank you God for putting the desire in my heart to do that, and for giving me enough endurance! (I really got rid of a huge amount of stuff...)

22 August
Today I learned quite a few things. For one thing, work can be quite difficult if you have a cold, don't feel too well and a lot of people seem to be in a bad mood. There I learned endurance and to be friendly and love them despite the circumstances. Then, when I came home I saw one of my worship books with the title Du bist Herr, which means You (=God) are Lord, and it reminded me that I am God's servant. He is my master. Somehow I thought that since I had let God into my life, He should be grateful, when it's just the other way around! I don't deserve Him, I can't do anything to ever, ever repay Him for what He's done for me. I'm the one who should be grateful. I'm the one who should wait on Him. I'm the one who should be serving Him 24/7. Not the other way around. I am nothing without God. Thank You for being in my life dear God! Later this evening we had housegroup and we did a recap of the sermon we had heard last Sunday about "growing together" and "growing together". (Yes, I know I wrote the same thing twice...) It can be understood in two ways. Firstly: growing together, as in getting to know each other better, becoming one body of Christ. Secondly: that we all grow in our faith, together. One thing that we need to do, with either option, is to reach out to other people, to spend time with other people, and I realized that I don't make much of an effort. I love spending time with my friends and/or youth group, but I'm never the one who takes the initiative. When I do something with one of my friends, I'm hardly ever the one who asks. If I spend time with my youth group it is either on our calendar or someone (else) invites us all to their place, or someone (else) has an idea of what we could do. I love the people where I work, too. I couldn't have asked for a better working-team. But I don't talk to them about my faith or ask them if they want to do something outside of work. I want that to change. Please God, give me the courage!

23 August
I have a cold, feel unbelievably tired and felt very far away from God for a big part of the day. Every have those kind of days? This morning on the train on my way to work I prayed for my co-workers, and I felt so close to God. Then I got to work. It didn't go badly, but I felt really yucky and suddenly I felt like God was gone. I don't know why. I want to let God's light and love shine through me, and I felt like it didn't. At all. I am actually just spoiled. I've been reading a book named The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun. Brother Yun has suffered unimaginable pain, just for sharing our faith with others. He has gone through so much, nearly died several times, and here I am complaining about a cold. I feel so ashamed. I want to go out in the world and tell others about God's amazing grace, but I'm going to need to stop sweating the small stuff. Forgive me Lord. Help me to see things in proportion. And help me to show other people Your love.

Romans 5:3-5

24 August
Today, at work, I was very close to losing my temper... Most customers are quite nice, but now and then you get those whippersnappers who think they are too cool, and sometimes laugh in a way that makes you think you might be the joke, and altogether seem quite condescending. I learned today that I need to see people through the eyes of God. God even loves those people who annoy me the most, and I should, too. Being able to control your temper is also a good virtue, one that I could practise today. ;-)

1 John 4:7-8

25 August
Did you know that if you pray with a wrong attitude, your prayer can backfire? Before work today I prayed that I would do a good job and not make any mistakes. I didn't want to get on anyone's nerves by doing things wrong. Well, guess what happened? I made tons of mistakes! Mostly little ones, but they add up... And I asked God Why, why did I make these mistakes? Why didn't you answer my prayer? And he told me that I hadn't asked this because I didn't want to cause anyone aggravation, but because I didn't want anyone to get mad at me, I didn't want to embarrass myself. God also said that it's ok to make mistakes. It's not the mistakes that are important, but how we react to them. I was very close to getting upset and snapping at various people, and that wasn't good. Next time I'll have to pray for patience, kindness, endurance, that I wont let myself get irritated or let myself give up, that I wont lose my temper or become rude and unfriendly, and that I'll stay good-natured.

Proverbs 16:2-3

26/27 August
Sorry I'm a day late. On the 26th I went to bed about an hour or so after I came home, which was around 6.30pm... I was a tired lil puppy. Anyway, you know what God did for me yesterday? He gave me the courage to give an Alphalive flyer to the woman who sat across from me on the train. Ok, I wasn't actually all that courageous. I just asked her if I could give her the flyer about a minute before the train pulled up in Berne, my stop, so I just quickly gave her the paper, said that it was completely free, that I would be there and that it would be nice if she would come, then I got off the train. (By the way, Alphalive is a program that some churches do, where they can invite people, unbelievers as well as believers, anyone who might have questions about Christianity. In Switzerland a course is usually done on one evening per week for ten weeks, and it includes supper. The flyer that I gave the woman was for an information evening about the course.) The day before I also gave one to someone I met and talked to on the train (also just before I got off the train...) I couldn't do this on my own, I'm a very shy person when it comes to my faith. God needed to give me the courage for even such a small thing as handing someone a flyer, and He did. Today (on the 27th) I learned something else; for some reason I had thought (unconsciously) that I had to do a lot of things to be a "good" Christian. Today a great pastor came to our church (his name is Jean-Bernard Berger) and one thing he said was that first we need to have a personal relationship with God, then everything else would fall into place. I had been focusing more on what I was doing for God rather than actually spending time with Him. So from now on every day I'm going to set aside some time for God. I'm sure He has a lot to tell me once I learn to really listen to His voice...

Ephesians 3:20

28 August
This last half hour or so was very strange for me. (It's about 11.15pm.) I had gotten ready for bed and laid down, turned the lights off, and I felt uncomfortable somehow. So I got up again, went into the bathroom and started going through all of my bathroom stuff (shower gel, shampoo, etc.) and put everything (that I didn't throw away) into the nice baskets we'd gotten months ago to put them in, so the bathroom wouldn't look so messy, but that I'd never gotten around to actually using. So I cleaned up the bathroom. Then I went into my room and realized that was a mess. So I tidied up my room and put away my clothes. Then I still didn't feel quite right and so I went out into the hallway and put all my shoes in a nice order. Well, that doesn't really leave anything else to be cleaned up, so I got ready for bed again. Now, all this tidying and cleaning up is very unusual for me. I'm generally more a messy sort of person and my room looking as if a tornado has hit doesn't usually bother me. So that made me wonder, why did I feel like I should do this? Couldn't it be that God was trying to tell me something? Maybe, although everything may seem to be cleaned up (now anyway), there is something inside of me that hasn't been put right yet. Things that have happened in the past that I haven't worked through yet, bad habits, bad ways of thinking, a bad attitude. I'm praying now that God will show me what isn't right in my life yet, and will help me work through those things.

Ephesians 5:15-17

29 August
I'm still reading The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun (amazing book!) and I was reading it on the train on my way to work, and gradually, while I was reading, I felt filled up with joy! By the time I got to Berne I wanted bounce all over the place for happiness! This was a wonderful gift from God that I really appreciate. Today I also realized that I like working at McDonald's, but I don't know why... I really like the people there, but that's not the reason, because I liked the people at my school, too, but I still didn't enjoy it most of the time. It was so funny, I was thinking about it and I really couldn't come up with a single reason for enjoying my work there. I think that most people I've talked to who work there don't really enjoy it very much. So, the only answer can be that God gives me joy when I work there. It's also a small miracle that I'm working there at all. On my application I wrote that I was looking for a job for about six months, and they took me. Someone I know who's also looking for a job for six months applied there, too, and was told they didn't like to hire people who could only stay that long. So I believe that God must want me there for some reason, and that might be why I like working there because when you're where God wants you to be, He fills you up with His joy.

Psalm 67:1-3

30 August
Five days ago I gave an Alphalive flyer to a guy I met on the train. (Go to www.alphalive.ch to find out more about Alphalive if you're interested.) Today, I met him again and he said he would try to come to the Alphalive information evening! I was so excited I wanted to run home to tell my parents. When I did get home I made both of my parents sit down and pray for him with me. In Matthew 18:19-20 Jesus says: I also tell you this: If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together because they are mine, I am there among them. Praying with other people is always better than praying on your own. We also prayed for all the other people we've invited and for friends who are struggling with different things. Praying is always a good thing to do when you don't know what else to do. Thank You Lord for letting us talk to you and for listening to us!

1. Corinthians 13:3

31 August
This is difficult for me to write, but today I realized that some of my habits (embarrassingly enough they are food habits) disgust me! In the last year I've lost quite a bit of weight and for a time I was able to maintain my weight, but gradually I've been slipping back into bad eating habits, maybe even worse than they were before I even started to lose weight. My food habits don't disgust me because they've made me gain some weight, though I'm not happy about that either, but because they are just wrong. For example, today we had fish and french fries and I put a lot on my plate, there was still a lot left in the tray, and I was worried that I wouldn't get enough! That I wouldn't be full even though I had more than enough on my plate! Another habit is that I tend to start eating whenever I'm doing something on my computer (that doesn't require too much typing) or whem I'm watching a movie. When I eat I'm not usually even hungry! When we do things that aren't right, even if they seem harmless, the Holy Spirit gives us a bad conscience, and it's difficult to describe just how bad I feel. These habits are bad, not because they make me gain weight, but because they are selfish and sensless. (1. Corinthians 6:19-20 is another reason why these habits aren't good.) So, to start breaking these habits I'm going to fast for two days. Not because I want to lose weight, but because I want to start breaking these habits, and I need God's help to be able to resist the temptation. If I can't resist something as minor as food, will I be able to resist more dangerous temptations from the devil? Please help me dear God. Help me to change.

Ephesians 4:21-23

Top of Page ↑